While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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