Yo dont text me then not text me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
