i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
