I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
