Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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