just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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