He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
