I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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