I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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