That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize