The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
