I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
