I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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