is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
