My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
