Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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