there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
