I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
