I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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