Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize