I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
