Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
