i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
