Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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