The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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