He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
