i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
