i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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