They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
