Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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