Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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