omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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