I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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