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I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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