At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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