she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
