But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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