walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
