glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
