would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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