THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
