I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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