you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
