you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
