wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
