Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
