Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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