i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
