he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
