hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
