i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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