You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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