i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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