i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
