Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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