she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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