I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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