yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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