somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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