Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
